LOL! The Most Embarrassing Fart Story Ever… This Guy Has Major Regrets

Dean James III% AMERICAS FREEDOM FIGHTERS

Every now and then America’s Freedom Fighters likes to take a break from the every day problems we all deal with when it comes to the troubles our country and world are facing and like they say, ‘Laughter is THE BEST MEDICINE!’ We hope you enjoy! 

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So I was casually browsing through the Rock CDs at HMV recently. It was a Saturday afternoon and the store was pretty packed. Some good tunes were playing in the background, songs I recognized. As I pushed and squeezed my way through the shuffling crowd of shoppers, I felt a sudden and intense need to pass some gas.

 It was one of those moments where I just knew that this wouldn’t be one of those “silent but deadly” farts; the pressure was too great, and rising quickly. It would definitely be a loud one. But whatever, right? I’m a sophisticated man, a worldly man, I know my way around an awkward fart.

So, even though I was in close proximity to a bunch of strangers, I figured I had a way out of this. I listened to the rumbling bass and the thumping drums of the rock song and decided I would time my farts to the loud and intense parts of the song so nobody would hear me.

The bass got heavier, and I dropped a small toot with a sly smile. So far so good. But there was more gas where that came from. A drum fill covered a few louder, longer farts. Then the distorted guitar started wailing, and so did my buttcheeks. Easy as pie.

Then I looked around and, to my surprise, everyone around me was giving me weird looks. A few people were giggling. Some people were even getting out of the way, leaving a big bubble of empty space around me.

That’s when it dawned on me. I had been listening to my iPod the entire time.

~abristol3

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LMAO I couldn’t resist doing this! I sincerely hope this doesn’t offend you but if it does, then LIGHTEN UP! LOL! 

(h/t  at TICKLD)

We want to thank all of you wonderful PATRIOTS that support AMERICA’S FREEDOM FIGHTERS and our Facebook pages and urge all of you to keep the faith. Together we WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! 

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Dean James III% AMERICA’S FREEDOM FIGHTERS

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