Shameless Michelle Obama Begs Donors For ‘The Biggest Fattest Check’ They Can Write!

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You’d think paying 500 to 20,000 dollars to watch Michelle Obama give a 20-minute speech would be enough, but apparently not. While pandering to left-wing rich people in Chicago today, the First Lady channeled her inner-televangelist and put the fear in donors, telling them the only way to save the country is to cough up more cash.

At a Democratic National Committee fundraiser at the Windy City’s Waldorf Astoria, Michelle Obama stopped the usual courtship and said straight up that the only way to make a difference is to:

… write a big, fat check. I kid you not. I’m going to be honest with you, that’s what we need you to do right now. We need you to write the biggest, fattest check that you can possibly write.

I’ve seen drug-addicted panhandlers with more tact, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Michelle’s husband has been a miserable failure and the only way to prop up his unpopular agenda is to throw as much money at it as possible:

Writing those checks is the single most impactful thing that you can do right now. When you dig deep, when you max out, that translates into staff hired and offices opened and ads running where they need to run.

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“Impactful” is not a word, and hiring staff, opening offices, and running ads is not how you help people. You’d think an Ivy-league educated woman would know that, but here’s what she thinks is the problem with American, so you know she’s out of her freakin’ mind:

I want to be really clear with my friends: If you think folks who work 40 or 50 hours a week shouldn’t have to live in poverty in the wealthiest nation on earth, if you believe in science and you care about the planet that you’re leaving for your kids and grandkids, if you don’t want women’s bosses making decisions about their birth control, if you want your kids to have quality preschool and the college education they need to fulfill every last bit of their God-given potential, then you need to step up.

Wow, digs at the minimum wage, climate denial, the Hobby Lobby decision, and education inequality. That was one hell of a progressive sentence. However, people that work 40-50 hours a week are not in poverty unless they have several children they can’t afford and an absentee father. Thinking Al Gore is full of sh*t is not the same thing as not believing in science. The Hobby Lobby decision doesn’t deny a woman’s access to birth control and it doesn’t put her boss in charge of it. Not everyone needs to go to college to succeed. Like having babies, if you can’t afford it; don’t do it.

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